Movie Review: Exodus

Rated PG-13

150 minutes

Directed by Ridley Scott

Imagine walking into a theater. You sit down, listen to the people around you talk about their lives, ignore the commercials, tell someone to get off their phone, and watch some awful trailers with good music behind them. You've finished the trailers, and the lights go dim. Then, the movie starts. Ideally, you should be sucked into what's happening, with characters you come to love as well as some sets and sounds that let your mind start a journey to a brand new world (BTW, that Phantom of the Opera soundtrack is very good). However, every once in a while, you come across a film that doesn't do that. Instead, it reminds you very much of real life. And that film is Exodus.

Life isn't supposed to be filled with high-stakes drama. Instead, it's supposed to be filled with conversation. It doesn't necessarily have to be engaging, just as long as the product acknowledges that not every conversation is engaging. There are conversations that make you want to roll over and die, but that's just how life can turn out to be. Not everything is interesting, and sometimes you just want to exit the thing, but you stay out of respect for the people you do it with or the people who bring it to you. 

Also, this film captures life in the sense that not everyone who you think is going to be a major player is. Aaron Paul is brought in as Joshua, and automatically, you think, "Aaron Paul? Dude from Breaking Bad? He's going to have a big part." However, once you watch Exodus, you find out that 3-time Emmy Award winner Aaron Paul has 4 lines for every Emmy he earned. That's right, your boy Jesse Pinkman only has 12 lines. And that's representative of how you think someone will factor in greatly in your life, but then turn out to be only a blip on your radar.

Another parallel this movie has to life is this: They both suck. Life can be good to you when it wants to be, but most of the time, it makes you work your ass off, then take part in some great gags. This movie makes you work to get to the end of it. It's so dull and boring that it's just unbelievable. However, there are shining bits of unintentional comedy. That first battle scene is so ridiculous, so out of place, and so dreadful that it's amazingly hysterical. Then, during the plagues, there are a bunch of crocodiles who target one boat, and there's a pan shot. There's one crocodile that's just lying on it's back, struggling to move, which was just hilarious to me (it wasn't injured, I'm not in favor of animal cruelty). Also, upwards of 2000 horses die on screen. I don't know what vengeance Ridley Scott has against horses, but that may horses dying? That's ridiculous.

In the last paragraph, I did say that life can be good. And since I'm running with Exodus=Life, there are some parts where Exodus does shine. It's not a CGI bloodbath, but merely uses it as an enhancer, and as a result looks nice. Additionally, there are some scenes that raise tension rather well, such as the scene where Moses is outed as a jew. The way that it's done is rather effective, and the actors are the best they are all film. However, these fleeting redemptions can not save a movie that is overly bloated and certainly very boring to watch. Skip it.

2.5/5

C-