Movie Review: Desolation of Smaug
161 minutes
Directed by Peter Jackson
Before the review, let me give you my state of mind regarding the Middle Earth franchises. The LOTR trilogy was so epic. It explored character, it had great action, and they felt like events. They got me pumped for An Unexpected Journey. But when An Unexpected Journey came out, I was severely disappointed. It was over-drawn, and boring. Case in point, there was a montage with the dwarves and Bilbo walking. I was bummed, and not really looking forward to this one. But then, the trailer for Desolation of Smaug came out, and I got excited again. I saw An Unexpected Journey again, and while I still didn't like it, I found it to be far, far better. Knowing that Desolation was going to be much more action-packed, I was pumped. I was expecting a B-. And then I saw the movie...
...and it was awful. It was just really bad. There was more action, sure, but it didn't really serve any purpose to the franchise. The love triangle was forced and unnecessary, and featured what I'm pretty sure to be no one's favorite dwarf, Kili, Legolas, who serves no purpose being in this film, and Tauriel, who wasn't in the book (not that it matters, I'm judging the movie separately, not on how loyal it stays to the book) and the screenwriters actually did a pretty good job of making her seem like she was always apart of the Tolkien universe. But one character being adapted well does not a love triangle (or a movie) make. It was poorly edited to an incredible degree, mostly in the final 40 minutes, where you were getting pumped about Smaug and Bilbo, and the editors were like "Hah, lets take you to see Gandalf and his subplot." Then they would cut back to Smaug and the dwarves hashing it out , and the editors decided to take us to a front for the love triangle to come back. Going back to Tauriel, while there may be some evidence that suggests that she's an empowering female, she seems to be there only to add time to the film, as what she mainly does in the film is be torn between 2 "hot" males. So empowering.
The script is also a huge issue. There could've been a possibility for these 3 films to be quick, efficient, 90 minute films. It would've been all the better for it. Instead, the writers and the director, Peter Jackson, decided to make a 310 page book into 3 3-hour movies. Of course, there was a lot of padding. Most of it is inconsequential and boring. Why are the orcs in this movie? No reason. Why were the elves thrown in to this? To have a great barrel scene with the orcs and dwarves, but other than that? No reason? Why did Bilbo name his sword, Sting, Sting? Because he stabbed a spider with it and the spider decided to say "It stings! It stings!" which is rather a terrible reason, and it was delivered rather poorly. Why? Because it wasn't scripted in properly.
Now, with all that being said, to all the pissed-off and level-headed fanboys that are reading this, no hard feelings. I can see why you may like this. I did like the barrel scene, and I liked the design and voice of Smaug. It could be pretty epic to some of you people. But not to me, unfortunately. It was overlong and boring for me. If you happen to love this film, that's perfectly all right. I just respectively disagree with you. This film unfortunately destroyed any hopes of the 3rd one appealing to me.
You broke my heart, Peter.
Also, if you want to hear what I think of the ending, and what I would've liked, scroll down. If you haven't yet seen the film, major spoilers after the grade.
2/5
D+
(begin spoilers)
How awesome would it have been for Smaug to remain coated in gold? Though physically impossible, since he would instead become a statue, it's Middle Earth! Make him invincible by having his scales covered in gold, making him able to destroy all of Middle Earth without him ever becoming vulnerable. It would've been amazing!
(end spoilers)
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